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Far Above the Moon; My Year in Space
For over a decade I have been selecting a Word of the Year (WOTY) as an annual framework of intention, a modality of being under deep consideration. Or, as often happens, as a point of departure to see where the year, and the word, takes me. It is a practice of curiosity that has served me well, starting at point A and evolving and leading me to point Z in both predictable and surprising ways. Inevitably my current word leads me to the next like a daisy-chain, a 12-month journey that is certainly never boring and always leaves an enduring impression.
Furthermore, in sharing my WOTY experience with you, I take part in a radical act of sharing myself. In this way, my WOTY has also become a practice of vulnerability.
In 2018 I selected “space” as my WOTY and set my intention to explore space — as a dimension of simply being, and being in an expanse that is a tool for liberation — free, available, and unoccupied.
I not only looked at diverse considerations of space, but also deeply took into account my “actions” in space — taking up/creating/holding/moving within set parameters, or systemic structures, of space. This includes the spaces of my body, mind, relationships, livelihood, etc.
Perhaps ironically, I then spent the vast majority of 2018 exploring the parts of human experience that are largely deprived of space; the off-limits, the restricted, the taboos — particularly those around motherhood, aging, sex, and death. I needed space to dwell deeply on these topics that, when squeezed into the dark and private corners of my mind, frightened me. What would happen if I gave them more space?
By pursuing these topics and letting them expand, I desired to see where I stood with them, and hopefully stumble into some new ease or comfort — some spaciousness — in the process.
But when I took stock of the year in December 2018, I found that my inner world was the opposite of “free, available and unoccupied” — instead, my mind was swirling with anxiety, worry, stress, and ruminating on a repetitive series of questions.
Which forced the question: What’s spacious about that?
